Ironically, this blog comes several weeks after my motivational blog where I promised to write at least once a week, along with a number of other goals I probably haven’t reached…
(None of the three of you who read this held me accountable by the way, so it’s obviously your fault!)
So, since I’ve been kicking myself the last few weeks for all the things I haven’t accomplished on my to-do list, I have decided to go ahead and get real with you about me. I know this will shock everyone – especially my family – but… I can be lazy.
I can be lazy, and: easily distracted, unmotivated, irresponsible, use poor judgment, angry, mean, unreasonable, stubborn, a slacker, a couch potato, too slow, too fast, restless, ridiculous, a procrastinator, the list goes on and on and on…
In my previous posts I’ve focused on the positive and talked about the way I try to view life. All of that is true – I strive to be and do all those things. And a lot of the time I hit the mark. Well, okay, in my mind I often succeed. I’m sure reality looks a little different from the outside looking in.
It’s probably very telling that one of my favorite quotes is, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot
Let’s just say my five-year plan is probably more like a 20-year plan, and more often than not the delays in accomplishing my goals and dreams are a result of my own stubbornness and insistence on doing a lot of things the hard way. I don’t regret where those choices have taken me, but hindsight is seriously 20/20.
Sometimes I get it right on the first shot… and those are usually the days I decide I deserve an ice cream or wine celebration, therefore simultaneously blowing a different goal to smithereens. But hey – a girl can only be so awesome all at once!
Seriously though, it can be very frustrating at times to find the initiative to do more with your life or continue to push yourself, especially in today’s instant gratification society where so much of the time the hard work that goes into accomplishing a goal feels like, well, Work. Even a daily to-do list often feels like Work.
Sure we feel accomplished and at peace when we cross those things off our list or push ourselves to try something new, but most days?…
Most days I just want to curl back up in my comfy bed with my book and the down comforter and perfect firmness pillow, the fan blowing, keeping the room cool, with something over my eyes to block out the light and…
Whoa – dozed off there.
Sometimes the same people who inspire me to get my butt out of bed are the same ones who make me feel like Lazy Loser Lindsay is never going to begin to accomplish a tenth of what they do, so why try? (Pulling the covers back over my head…)
There are a number of traits about myself that are aggravating. I’m well aware of them, but just as incapable of stopping myself from feeling them.
For instance, it is extremely difficult for me to settle down and bloom where I’m planted. I’m pretty much always searching for the next adventure, the next challenge. I’m restless; commitment to one place is hard; and I would almost definitely rather be traveling pretty much all the time then to stay in one place. This is a trait I am desperately currently trying to curb for my two girls as they are in school – but it is much easier said then done! I’m a born vagabond.
My second favorite quote by the way… “Not all those who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
Another thing, what the heck is it with human beings that we are perfectly capable of accomplishing whatever we set our minds to when we’re in an accountable relationship or a co-worker or family member expects something of us… But then, when it comes to doing something for ourselves – whether it’s cleaning out the attic or fulfilling an item on our bucket list – we just put it off and put it off until it becomes a distant memory with only the faint traces of disappointment and regret hanging around?
Get it together Lazy Loser Lindsay!
This is when I pull out the big guns. Stop feeling sorry for myself and look around. There is ALWAYS someone who has it far worse than I do. What the heck am I complaining about? The only thing standing between myself and that to-do list and that bucket list is ME!
Sure, some days I lose that battle (okay, a lot of days), but there is nothing stopping me from starting over again tomorrow. But where will the initiative to start over come from?
Well, first I’ll look at my kids and know that every 6:30 a.m. wake up call and every time my roots grow a little deeper is worth… anything.
Then, I’ll look back at my last post and remember all the amazing things my inspiring friends are accomplishing – and most importantly I’ll be honest with myself and remember that I KNOW all those inspiring people. They struggle too, and many of them have far more difficult circumstances in life than I do. Some days they pull the covers back over their heads, but the next day they get up and do life.
So, I’ll take a mental health day; give myself a break. And then I’ll drag Lazy Lindsay out of bed and go do life… okay, I got this.
Maybe tomorrow though.